You've probably heard it many times. Probably, you've even said it, or at the very least someone dear to you has said it. That "this country is going to hell in a handbasket because those dirty heathens and liberals have yanked prayer from public schools!" Why, this country used to be a decent, hard-working Christian Nation with good, clean Christian people, but then those godless liberals had to come along and ruin everything for everybody. Why, the good ole U.S. of A. is almost Canada these days! But let's use our imagination, travel upward in time, oh, not very far. Two or three years, maybe a tad more. And maybe we can answer the age-old dilemma: what's this country coming to, is what I'd like to know.
Make the Children Prey.
Whew, we finally did it. We pulled together and got behind the vote, and finally, finally, we're getting this disgustingly down-on-its luck country back on solid train tracks. Yes sir, train tracks to prosperity. Nothing to do with luck, boy howdy, it is all about getting right with God, and getting his blessing slapped down on our Government. We're heading back into the Promised Land, yesiree bob.
The first thing we managed to pull out of the hat is getting prayer back in public schools, where it belongs. I sent my seven-year-old daughter off with a kiss on the cheek and a resounding "God bless you!" I could almost hear the angels singing. Keep pulling together, keep fighting the evil pagans, and we WILL win!
Then around 3:00 p.m. when the bus dropped off my precious baby, she comes running through our picket fence and up onto our Leave it to Beaver porch, and all excitedly he begins to tell me about how wonderful school was today! That's what we want to hear, right? That God is smiling again upon our public education system, running just like old Benjamin Franklin set it up, saying the pledge of allegiance to the flag that Betsy Ross sewed on her Singer sewing machine, all them bright and glow-in-the-dark shiny white stars, all fifty of them.
I could see that my baby was blessed today, thank God for prayer back in the second grade, just like Moses instituted at the public school at the base of Mt. Sinai.
"Daddy, guess what? I learned how to pray a special prayer today, I learned the whole thing, isn't that great, Daddy?"
That's what you want to hear, right? Not about which second-grader brought a gun to school, but how your precious baby girl learned a special new prayer! Can I get an AMEN!? Yes sir, this is the way our Christian Nation was supposed to be working, even back in the godless 1990s! And remember 2008, how terrible THAT year was? Well, now we're set for prosperity. Probably even some liberals will get a blessing now, if God in His sovereign grace deigns to drop them a crumb or two, like the dogs under the table they've always been. God bless America! Land that I love!
Yee, um, HAW!
I set my beloved daughter on my knee and asked her if she'd share her new, special prayer with her old daddy.
She proudly, in great humility, closed her eyes and folded her hands. I smiled, so full of humble pride. I was about to ask her about the beads between her fingers, when she began:
"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee;
blessed art thou among women, and blessed
is the fruit of thy womb; Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death. Amen."
I was blinking. The smile was locked on my face, I know, and I was still working out: "Mother of God" and "pray for us sinners" and "Hail Mary." I know I wasn't thinking quite straight, because it seemed that my little seven-year-old was saying some sort of a football prayer, one involving a sneaky "Hail Mary."
"Was that good, Daddy? Do you know that prayer? You know everything, Daddy, will you pray the rosary with me, Daddy?" she asked, the angel of my life, my seven-year-old, second-grade daughter, blinking her bright blue eyes up at me.
It touched on my mind, just faintly, that perhaps my daughter was demon-possessed. Maybe it was too late to save her, because when corruption gets in there, who can say if you can excise it. I made her go stand in the corner, after confiscating the hated pagan prayer machine, the "rosary." What were they hiring at the public school, teachers versed in corrupt cultic systems of "worship?" I couldn't believe, Catholic "prayers" had come out of my daughter's lips.
I called the school. I gave them what for. I read them the riot act. I applied the third degree. I skipped the GQ, and the QT. I read them their rights. I mentioned Carmen Miranda. I know I was making them sweat.
The stupid principal kept saying over and over again like a broken MP3 player, "But, but, but, I assure you Mr. Gelical, I assure you, that Catholicism IS Christianity. There are 85 million Catholics living in the U.S. alone! This is a Democracy, Mr. Gelical, and Catholics make up about 51% of Christianity, and I can assure you, Mr. Gelical -- Evan, we're friends, and I am not a Catholic -- but it is the law, Evan, it is not my fault, it is the law and they have to be represented in our educational system, as they are Christians, by law they are Christians, Evan, so prayer is back in the schools, but hey, this isn't a perfect world!"
We went around and around. Then I called other parents. We organized. We went back to the courts. We filed suits.
Come on, you understand, don't you? We didn't do all this for Catholics! This is a Christian Nation, not a Catholic Nation. In this country majority does not rule, no sir. It is the truth that rules, and the Bible, and Catholics openly admit that their tradition is more important than the Bible.
Well, it was a long, hard fight, two years mind you, but we got it all straightened out, yes sir we did. No more Catholic nonsense. The Catholics, all 51% of them have been relegated to the Kingdom of the Cults, along with Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Jews for Jesus, Quakers and all Quackers, Seventh-day Adventists and anyone else with a number in their denominational name, and all those groups that are too small to mention, the voiceless, godless few, and we the many are successful, and if we are successful, then we know God is with us. Might is right, right? The might of the Christian Right, that's our right, moral rights, right? Right on!
An added bonus? Not only is "In God We Trust" back on all the money, but we got "One Nation Under Christ" on the flip side of all coinage and currency. And if we honor Christ on our money, He must shower money back upon us. That is the way it worked when George Washington threw a dollar bill across the Pontiac! And to top it off, the rose amidst the thorns, on every single credit card, by law mind you, it now says: "By the Bible Alone!" and in Latin Sola Scriptura just to give everyone a tingle or two. Put God on the money and the money is God, or, well, you know, um, something like that.
Then after all our blood and sweat and tears, my daughter, the little rebel, came home from fourth grade and I could tell something was wrong. She wouldn't meet my eyes. I set her down and reminded her that per the latest addendum to the Constitution, and Old Testament canon, and New Testament cannon, that if she doesn't obey me, and muy pronto at that, I can have her stoned (and I'm not making a joke about drug use, either, can I get a glory hallelujah?), legally, by a Dedicated Evangelical Victory Illuminated Legislation order.
She was angry with me, my daughter was. She never smiles anymore. I think it has something to do with the curse that came upon her when she willingly prayed to Mary, a false god if ever there was one (mind you, I don't blame it on Mary herself, she certainly never chose to be the star of idolatry and the female movement). But with enforced prayer I know all of that is going to change. Happy Days are coming back to this return to a blessed Christian Nation!
"Start talking!" I shouted in her face. I removed my belt. A fourth-grader is not too old for some hide tanning. You know what the Bible says, "Spare the rod and spoil the child." Thy rod and thy staff they terrorize me, every family should have that printed above their doorposts.
Then she crossed her arms over her chest and began this, well, this NOISE. Creepiest thing I've ever heard. A rattling, hitching, rap record played in reverse:
"...nema .dne eht ni lla su llik lliw snoitidart edam-nam ruo dna ,susej tem reven ev'ew dna ,elbib eht wonk t'nod ew ,lleh ot gniog lla era ew..."
Something like that. It was horrible. I stood there with my mouth hanging open. I was terrified. It was the first time I'd ever heard devil possession in the flesh.
Well I cast it out of her. I ordered the demon out in the Name of Jesus and I made her fast for an entire week, and when she back-talked me I gave her some licks of my belt, and then I used the cane that the Government has issued to apply stripes to the child's back, to keep them fresh, the children and the stripes, except we don't want our children to have fresh mouths, do we?
My daughter kept ranting that what she was doing was Biblical, that she was praying in tongues, that it was a heavenly language, a prayer language, and if I didn't like it I could go to hell, that that's where I was going anyway because REAL CHRISTIANS (it's how she said it) had to have this special blessing from God, it was the only way to prove that you were saved (I don't know where she gets this stuff). She kept saying that it was the law, that they had to pray in public schools and this was one of the agreed prayers, and it was a blessing from God Himself! It was proof of Holy Ghost fire!
Well, my daughter is twenty-five now (none of us thought she would make it), and she's a godly woman, thank God. She has some permanent stripes, but Jesus said it's better to get into Heaven with a couple of missing limbs than to go hale and whole into hell. But it wasn't easy. No it wasn't. Nor were the battles in court, the many, many battles, the Legislation, the get-out-the-votes, the National Day of Prayers, the National Sunday Law, the purges, the cleansings, the investigations and inquisitions, but we've done it, we've finally done it. It was all a fight. A battle. Battle after battle. A long and hard-fought war. You could even call it a Holocaust, but hey, we hold the power now, the good guys win, we've read the back of the Book, the Bible, right? We always knew we could do it.
We've gotten rid of the Jews, and the Muslims, and all the Eastern pagan nonsense, the New Agers and all the assorted cults, all the Earth huggers and liars screaming about global warming, global starvation, global peace. We've cleaned up America. And we are cleaning up the world! The only problem is now the camps are getting too huge. Something has to be done, something Biblical, there has to be a house cleaning, the Man of God says we have to do like in the Bible, and it doesn't matter if it is old people, women, or even children. Dump'em. Get rid of them. It's the only way to make God happy, so He will finally bless us like we deserve, so the plagues will end, so the sky will finally clear enough for us to see the sun again, and the moon, and all the stars, so we can receive our healing from these sores.
Because they don't have God. It is true and you know it. The godless pagans. They are all going to hell and will face God's wrath. They have no hope. They are going to burn forever. God will torture them. Torture. That means pain, lots and lots of pain, and screaming. Oh yes, God will torture them, He will make them pay, He will make them scream and gnash out their teeth. We must be like God, do the same number, perform the same routine. God is sovereign so what seems like "bad" to us is not really bad -- call evil good and call good evil, isn't that Biblical -- so we call it good, and we come back into God's image, we become small versions of Him.
Yes, we become gods!
And hey, ours won't even be forever, the punishment we deal out by God's authority. We'll just be cleaning house, cleansing the Sanctuary of the U.S. of A. God's Nation, the shining Christian Nation.
Can I get an AMEN?
* * *
Sometimes we think we want one thing, and we want it very badly. But then if we get it, it turns out it wasn't quite what we wanted, is it?
It's something, about sense, you know? It pretty much makes sense. Anyone can do it -- THINK, I mean. You just have to make an effort, to see through the propaganda, the slogans, buzz words, "thinkless" speech, knee-jerk reactions and angry, bitter rhetoric. Try it, thinking, what have you got to lose in a crazy, crazy world?
What's this world coming to, anyway, is what I'd like to know.
Ways to aid this ministry include praying for this site www.TruthSeek.net, www.DeceivingtheElect.net, and www.DramaticParables.com, donations and provision may be gifted using the TruthSeekGift page (and please only use this if you feel you are inspired by God to do so), and also feel free to use the Prayer Request page to submit prayer requests, and praying for the prayer requests of others, as well as exploring the various advertisements and links on these pages (regrettably, the advertising is necessary to recompense the many costs of keeping a website running, so exploration of the advertisers, which are not connected to any of these parables, is greatly appreciated). Any aid is joyously accepted, even if that means a smile and a well-wish. Thank you so much!
...Just Trying to Make Sense in a Crazy, Crazy, Loony-Tunes World.
Just give Thinking a chance.
THINK. Think your own thoughts.
Use the MIND that God Himself gave you, the thing that makes you unique, the thing that encompasses YOU, your mind, your noodle, your "heart" as the Bible calls it. Think with it, it's what God wants you to do. If you only think the thoughts of other people, you are not doing what you were designed to do. THINK. Or at least think about thinking, that would be a good start.
Sense is not evil. Common sense is a good thing. You think you can't figure it out, but that is because you haven't ever tried.
Society is robbing you of thought. Ads and gurus and the very worst of "teachers" are right now sapping your very soul. Aspartame and sucralose and Acesulfame K and splenda and MSG and high-fructose corn syrup and perpetual bombardment by cellular phone rays and the worst of nutrition-free diet is all adding up to rob you of your very ability to THINK. But you can yet do it. Exercise your gray matter.
Society is robbing you of thought. Ads and gurus and the very worst of "teachers" are right now sapping your very soul. Aspartame and sucralose and Acesulfame K and splenda and MSG and high-fructose corn syrup and perpetual bombardment by cellular phone rays and the worst of nutrition-free diet is all adding up to rob you of your very ability to THINK. But you can yet do it. Exercise your gray matter.
Whew, we finally did it. We pulled together and got behind the vote, and finally, finally, we're getting this disgustingly down-on-its luck country back on solid train tracks. Yes sir, train tracks to prosperity. Nothing to do with luck, boy howdy, it is all about getting right with God, and getting his blessing slapped down on our Government. We're heading back into the Promised Land, yesiree bob.
